Draft Analysis by Busby Weewax

 

as told to Rick Reitz

September 3, 2002

Hey, yo, Busby here. During my four years as an offensive lineman for the Tampa Bay Mountaineers, I had a great opportunity to judge the talent and durability of many opposing offenses on the "grindiron", which is what we in the business call the "football field." During my playing days, I saw some of the best quarterbacks, like Joe Mantegna, Phil Simmons and Ryan Leaf.

 

So when LEAF Ball Commissner Rick Writes asked me if I might be able to analyze this year's draft, I said sure! Then he handed me a sheet with all of these names on it that I'd never heard of before, like Jay Riemersma and Kurt Warner. So I did a little research and came up with my take on how you all did.

 

Let's go through them in draft order from first pick to the last, shall we?

 

The Razorbacks - I guess you can't go wrong with Marshall Fault on your team. If Brian Grease plays like he did a few years ago, and if Tommy Lee Jones becomes a great running back for the St. Louis Cardnals, you might have a contender here. Glenn Terry could be a great receiver for the Packers, but that is a big IF. Fairly decent depth as well on the bench. Sometimes, it pays to have your big brother finish the draft for you.

The Nic-Rae Mystery Machine - New guy chose Almond Green over Curt Warner with his first pick. Since he got Rich Cannon on the way down to lock in a solid QB, you could say his decision paid off. Tori Spelling and Jerry Rice are nice picks at WR, and he took a chance on the league's best kicker, Mike Van DeKamps, in the 5th round. A bit early for a kicker, but what do I know? Weak depth at RB beyond the starters has to be his biggest concern.

Lancaster Raiders - Warner goes here. I'm glad I'm not saddled with his RB tandem, as Garrison Hurts and Jeromy Bets are guys who might end up splitting playing time with other players. But Emma Smith and Tyrone Wheaties as your back ups is fine compensation. Fair receivers, decent depth makes Troy's a team that I could really "bug-out" to.

The Pez - Jeff Garciaparra as your QB is nice, but Cliton Portish went too soon as a third round pick. There was a lot of sure-thing talent around to take such a risky shot at the Bronchos new RB. Domino Rhodes was a gaffe the rest of the league won't let him soon forget. With Anthony Freeman now catching for the Eagles, his selection of James Thrush may have become very valuable, and along with his other pick-ups, including Wayne Chrobot, he seems deep at WR.

Viagra Big Men - Could this be Eric's year, with two stud runner backs in Rick Williams and Steve Davis, Kordell Slash at QB, and a Brown Johnson tandem at receiver? No, probably not. Nice depth on the bench at all positions, though, so if Eric can pick his weekly lineup wisely, watch out!

Conestoga Ragin Rednecks - Peyote Manning is hanging with Keith again, which is solid, but he decided to take a chance on two running backs recently returned from injuries. Of course, I'm referring to Duke Staley and Fred Tyler. Backing them up with Travis Horny and and Dorothy Levins was smart. Call the cops! Amani Tumor in the 10th round was a steal.

The Fighting Goobers - Any team with Dondi Culpepper has to be considered among the favorites to win it all. And if Ed James is even close to his talent level before last year's injury, well, dust off the mantle and get ready for the trophy, Tom. The downside? Culpepper, James, and Santa Moss are coming back from injuries, and Deyshawn Foster is still recovering from one. If they are back, look out!

Its All Ball Bearings - I almost embarrassed myself when I informed Rick that his first pick, Terrell Owings, just announced his retirement. But then I realized that it was another big play Terrell - Terrell Davies - that called it quits. This team seems to have no standouts beyond Owings, but nice even balance throughout to make this team a possible contender. Good depth on the bench, with multi-national guys like Quandry Islamabad, Mooshin Muhmad and Sabatini Janawackovitz.

Grandpas Meat - If you can't get your big brother to handle your draft for you, get your big co-worker to fill in. Steve phoned it in this year, literally, and still came away with one of the stronger drafts. Starting with Jason Alexander at RB helped, and with Donny Moss as his stud WR, Fabian McNabb at QB, he seems to have built a strong nucleus to defend his crown.

Spring Avenue Rough Housers - Will Vicky Michaels be this year's Dondi Culpepper at the helm? If he blossoms this year, Eric will have quite a nice package here, with Lon-Damian Tomlin and Ed George at RB. If he fails to meet his potential, he's stuck with Quincy Jones and Joey Carrington at QB, and that could spell trubble. He picked marginal receivers with upside a bit earlier than he had to, but Plexiglas Burgess and Ron Gardner could work nicely into his plans.

Brickyard Bullies - Now I'll admit that I have been a Houston Texans fan for many years, but even I have to wonder about the sense in drafting two of its players this year, even if they are just bench players for Dave. Nice running backs, nice quarterbacks, marginal receivers and questionable everything else. Browns defense? Doesn't he realize that the team left Cleveland and changed their name to the Ravens? Geez, some people are clueless!

Chicos Bailbonds - Todd took some heat selecting Shame Matthews in the sixth round, but if his theory is sound, and the Redskins chuck the ball down the field a lot, it might pay off. If not, then Mark Brunell will have to fill in. Nice running backs, good receivers, the best tight end (though we must wonder if Toni Gonzaga will be playing in week one), and a kicker and defense. Early suggestions indicated that he may have had the worst draft; in fact, he may have actually had one of the better ones. Wait a minute, who's Brian Westbrook? Didn't I buy a car from him a few months ago up at Warwick Auto Park?

There you have it, though I had just a few more general observations:

1. How the mighty Ravens have fallen. Weren't they considered one of the top defenses last year. Now they aren't even picked in the draft.

2. If Jeff Garcia is so damn good, how come Terrell Owens is the only WR that was selected from this team? Meanwhile, Culpepper has three of his receivers taken.

3. Starting QB's not taken in the draft - 2 (Mike McMahon, Chris Redman); Back up QBs taken in the draft - 1 (Joey Harrington).

4. People were making fun of Eric Kilhefner and Steve Seeber for waiting so long to pick up TEs, but there were actually quite a few good ones left, in addition to the ones they ended up taking. Take, for instance, Itula Mili, Walter Rasby, and Rickey Dudley, who just got cut.

5. By my calculations, there were 21 starting wide receivers that went undrafted in this year's LEAF draft. What do you guys know that the NFL coaches don't?

Bye bye! And remember... always wear a pocket protector!

 

 

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